Mommy Tip Tuesday

 

  I started driving my kids to and from school a couple years ago after a pretty big incident involving Justin that the driver handled quite terribly. He had been suffering some pretty bad bullying for several months without my knowing, by some older girl, and finally retaliated. If you know Justin, he's pretty easy going and very kind, but being the 5th boy in a large family, he tends to handle things himself once he's had enough. The driver is a former jail guard, so she can be pretty intimidating. She punished him with an incident report, which if you get three of, you lose bus riding privileges for. Then she told me about the situation from her perspective in front of him when I went to meet him off the bus. When we got inside, the 3 children all broke down crying and things that had been going on for quite some time started spilling out. Immediately I tried to get a hold of the head of the bus system, but he was out. I called Justin's teacher and notified the school councilor (who apparently had a lot of experience with the bully) and they both said they would watch the situation.

This incident is what made me realized that the bus driver was putting a lot of stress on my kids daily. If they were running a minute late, or if they had a limb in the isle, a pencil out to do their homework, turned around to talk to the person behind them...she was on them constantly. Occasionally stopping the bus to yell at all of the kids for their behavior. I tried to get a hold of the bus system head to let him know the issues we were having for a good two weeks. I started realizing that I loved dropping them off and picking them up. I was the last one to see them before they entered the school, and the first one to greet them coming home. It became a time I could really connect with them. I come to  what all their favorite parts of the day were, how the music teacher is obsessed with coffee, whether they were getting along with their friends, who their friends were...the list goes on and on.

It's been two and a half years since this experience now. Other neighbor kid's parents drive their children now too. I suppose I should really resolve things with the bus driver head, but don't plan to stop driving my children anytime soon. There is more history than I was able to describe here, but I'm giving you the shortened version. The moment we reached our breaking point. Suffice it to say that the driver has been driving my children since Michael, who is in 10th grade, was in elementary school. I asked for a different driver when Alyssa, now in 5th grade, was in Kindergarten. It never changed. I'm a problem solver, not a complainer. 😀

My tip is this: 

Connect with your Kids.

Know what's going on in their lives. 
There will never be an age where this isn't important or valuable. 
Their concerns always matter. 
These relationships are precious, and will last beyond this life. I really believe that.
I'm grateful to my own mother who was always there for the six of us. It wasn't easy, it was often very difficult. But she held firm and consistent in her care and nurturing. I still turn to her for wisdom and comfort. What a HUGE blessing!

Mommy tip Tuesday and: It's Not too Late to Give

A couple years ago Steve and I decided that we needed to do whatever we could to ease the stress that inevitably accompanies the Christmas season. We omitted some unnecessary traditions and tweaked some, and planned to go on a family trip just before Christmas Eve (details later). These simple, yet significant, changes have really helped me to enjoy things a lot more, and as a consequence, helped my family as well. One of those "traditions" is the treat plates. Steve loves to give them to his home teaching families, and I to my close friends, not to mention how much I love to bake. But this year needed to have things ready a lot sooner so that I could have the children packed and ready for a longer trip to Utah to see one of our Nephews get married. I knew I couldn't get stressed and that there wouldn't be time to fit everything in, so we decided to make goodies AFTER Christmas. I started to rationalize that people would probably appreciate this more since they could take their goodies to a party they were attending if they didn't want to eat all of it themselves. 

So our Sunday activity was making Grammy Buxton's sugar cookies (recipe HERE) and for family home evening we frosted some for treat. {I'm all for efficiency.} ;)

  These particular cookies are loaded with fond memories for me and my siblings, doesn't need to be chilled before handling, and turn out perfect every time. I've also found a very valuable solutions over the years when making them. So for mommy tip Tuesday, that's what I'm sharing today! Ready for the big, yet simple, secret? Here goes:

*drum roll please*

*MOMMY TIP

 When rolling out the dough and you find you (or some little helpers) added too much flour, put the dough back into the mixing bowl, add softened butter, and remix. I was thrilled when I tried this and it worked! What do you have to lose? Crumbly dough is no good to you, is it? In the end, this will save your efforts. Win-win!

 Meanwhile, we are going to deliver the rest of our goodies.

 Happy New year!

Mommy Tip Tuesday

If you're not going to drink the milk, don't dip your cookies so that no one else wants it. 

It's a waste. 

Thank you very much.

Mommy Tip Tuesday-YOU TIME

I've generally found being a Mother delight some and truly joyful. But there are times, however, when I find myself feeling worn out and just wanting time away from everything. I've often heard other mothers voice their desire to "have a break". Although I've heard the insensitive response, "You don't get a break from being a Mom!", it doesn't change the fact that it is necessary. That poor mother is expressing her need for some down time. Regular down time is possible, if truly desired. Different people find this in different ways, whether it be grocery shopping (me when my oldest ones were little), a warm bubble bath (My Mother when we were little), a night out with the gals (some of my close friends), working un-interrupted on a hobby, or what have you, the fact of the matter is, we all need that time to think for ourselves without the physical and emotional demands a family regularly requires. Through my 18 years of being a mother, I have found many ways to enjoy some regular, consistent down time.  I have found it crucial to the emotional well being of everyone around me. Because this is so important, I'm going to share my regular 3 with you today.

1) Routine Exercise- When I take the time to exercise each day, I find a great deal of fulfillment that not only benefits me and my health, but is an invaluable example to my children. This regular time designated from 6-7 a.m., not only gives me and my family the benefits of the consistency, but it also gives me an hour to think through my day, work out solutions to problems that are causing turmoil in my life, and allows me to run off stress. I feel more focused, organized, and motivated to accomplish much more throughout the day. Not to mention the already well known medical advantages to regular physical activity.

2) Quiet Time- I remember when I was a child, my own mother would have a nap time in the summer. Even though we would protest that we weren't tired, she would tell us that she was, so we were required to take an hour to rest. After I had my first child, I realized how invaluable a regular daily "nap time" was for the child. They may not always recognize that they need to rest, but I found that having that hour each day decreased fits or tantrums and increased rational.

 This hour (1-2 p.m.-after being well fed for lunch) becomes precious to not only the mother, but child as well. I call it "quiet time" because the idea is that they just take an hour to be by themselves, enjoying a peaceful activity of their choice, in a place of rest. I allow them to watch a quiet video, read a book, listen to soothing music, or work a puzzle in their room. Even though they will often fall asleep for a nap in the process, this isn't truly the goal. I often enjoy this time to read, while sucking on my one Dove chocolate for the day, and take a snooze myself. Thus, Down Time.
3) Date Night- When my husband and I were first married, we talked about how we didn't want to be like those old people walking down the street without holding hands. We decided it was important to us to always be, not only friends, but truly continue to grow in our love for one another. I'll never forget what room we were in, where we were sitting, and which way we were each facing when we decided that we were designating Friday as our regular date night, and that if we needed it to change due to circumstance and/or schedule, we would take Saturday night as a time to be alone.

Through the years, we have been instructed by leaders of the church, as well as studies showing how important it is, to take that time to continue to court. Here we are 21 years later and still taking that time every week to enjoy a night together. Especially through the challenging years of Steve's regular travel, and times of financial difficulty, this date night has kept our relationship steady and strong. Not much money, if any, is required to experience a fun filled date.We are able to enjoy conversation that is un-disturbed, really talk about our concerns without eaves droppers ;), play activities we enjoy, and go out to eat where we desire...just for fun. By fulfilling a promise we made each other all those many years ago, I have realized the example we are showing our children. I attribute this regular time together to our happy marriage and the reason I continue to think he is the most amazing man in the whole world, more so than I did before. I find myself looking forward to this time together each and every week!

So that's my tip for today. A happy mother designates time that not only benefits her, but by so doing, benefits her family as well!