Lately I've been wanting to capture time and pause it. So afraid that I'm going to forget and knowing that one day I will miss these phases and stages of each one of my children.
Life is so precious and so quick. Before we know it, it will all be gone. I thought there was no real significant reason for my feeling this way, but as I think about it I realize it is the unusual dynamics of our family that help me realize how quickly it can all pass by.
Bryon being in college and seeing him now. Yes he still needs us, although those needs are very different than they were even a year ago, and changing as the weeks pass. Soon he will be gone for two years.
We are giving him up. We are letting him be in the hands of the Lord. We know we would have it no other way, yet reality has a way of springing us to a sometimes uncomfortable place we don't feel prepared to be.
I realize how blessed I am to have our circumstances as they are, to have wonderful children, all healthy and spread apart between almost 19 years time, where I have had experiences to teach me to savor each moment with our little ones as we have watched how dreadfully speedy the older ones have grown.
So although I feel like I want to pause time and beg for it to wait for me to catch up, I know that isn't possible and have decided to just enjoy and savor each moment as it comes. Memory by memory, building them one by one, even if it aches sometimes.
