Crazy and Chaos

During painting process

As I sit here now and type, I'm really in need to let things spill out. I have been under a lot of pressure and stress with getting the house up for sale and all that is involved with a 14 year long fixer upper with constant renovations and projects. As we close in to the last bits of projects and firming things up, I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel...kind of. The reality is that I don't think I will ever really feel like everything is finished.

After paint, something to love

We just met with the first of a few agents to discuss the sale of the home. I have put off any agents in Tremonton for now due to my inability to do all at the same time. Plus, why would we look to buy without knowing whether we've sold our own? Once our home is on the market, it will seem more feasible.

After 2

My emotions and energies are in every direction right now. We have some personal family things going on that are weighing on me. The fear of crying is that once I get started, it takes all I have to get a hold of myself. Before we knew about them, I was having trouble with our back door neighbor. There is always something, isn't there? When it rains it pours, both physically and emotionally, right? Well it is pouring right now! One of my New Year's resolutions this year was to journal and make lists every day. I finished my first notebook of to-do lists last week and have moved on. Each day is loaded with lists of things to do, relishing Sundays in my need for Sabbath observance and the refreshing sense of renewal it offers. I have found that day to truly be a day of delight. I'm able to organize my thoughts and allow things to fall into priority. I have really needed to rely in my Father in Heaven for the peace and assurance that we can make it through these bumps. It really helps to know that He is placing us where we need to be. Over the years of making truly blessed bonds with friends and congregation here, those relationships are hard to leave. I'm feeling the weight of it, but will be sure to feel it heavier when things settle in Tremonton.

Now that I have expressed my thoughts, though scrambled as they are, I have to get back to the business of life. There is always something to paint, and even more somethings to clean...and pack.
Here's to life, and the future it holds.

Cheesy Selfie

What Lack I Yet?

For the past 8 weeks I have been taking a New Testament class at BYU-Idaho. I signed up for this course because I needed another religion course to complete my credentials for religion and wanted to take it while taking a Science Foundations course I’m required to take a well. Every other week I’m required to share what I’ve learned in some form, so occasionally I share here to fulfill that assignment. I’m hoping there is much to be gained by doing so, if not just for journaling purposes.

The readings in my course have been very meaningful each week, I love the four gospels, but I wanted to share something that struck me more powerfully this last week. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to to take this class. I love studying about the Savior and His ministry. There is so much in each chapter that is full of insight, that it’s truly hard to choose what to give the most attention to. This week, I decided to focus on the rich man found in chapter 19. If you aren’t familiar, he starts by asking Jesus what he can do to gain eternal life. After the Savior recites the 10 commandments, he poses a new  question:

 (Matthew 19:20-22)

            The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?

             Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.

             But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.

As I’ve pondered on this passage, I’ve thought about how we individually receive what the Savior said. Do we feel sorry for the rich man? Do we relate to the rich man? Are we the rich man? Are we so focused on something that we can’t let it go and perhaps see letting go as something we can’t do? Where is our heart?

The Savior then talks to the disciples about how difficult it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven:   

           

            And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. (Matthew 19:24)

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The disciples are taken back by this because they have given up everything to follow the Savior. Then follows a response from the Savior that is full of promise to everyone that forsakes all that might hold them back from receiving eternal life:

(Matthew 19:28-30)

             And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

            And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

             But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.

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While reading this story again, I reflected and re-read a talk that I remember hearing in general Conference years ago called, “What Lack I Yet” ( You can watch or read it here)by Elder Lawrence of the seventy.  

The reason this talk has stayed with me, is that  Elder Lawrence poses the same question to everyone listening, asking them to go to Heavenly Father in prayer and ask what we individually lack. I have watched as my friends have gone and followed this counsel and received inspiration, I have done it too. But don't we need to be doing this regularly? I have experience in knowing that as we ask for guidance, we will receive it from a loving Father in Heaven.

Thank you for sharing with me today.

What are your thoughts? 

My Yoke is Easy and My Burden is Light

          We studied many wonderful lessons about the miracles Christ performed this past week in my New Testament class. Many of them are my favorites and have really blessed me with insight to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It's always difficult to pick a topic or principle to relate because of my love for each of them. The one I feel impressed to share today though, is one that has carried me through my trials. I shared it on my message boards in class this week as well. 

Justin, daughter in law Callie, and I waiting at the Lion House for lunch

          In Matthew 11:28-30 says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Lunch at the Lion House between Saturday sessions of General Conference

          Do you see in the picture below how the two oxen are yoked together? They help share the load and the burden of the weight they pull is distributed. This is what is meant by taking Christ's yoke on us. As we do so, that burden is easier to pull. He shares the weight of our burdens, often carrying much more than we do.

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         When I was a young mom, there was a a phrase I saw in a store that said, "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." It was posted next to a picture of the Savior. 

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I was sharing this with my Father-in-law one day and he pointed out that if I were to look all through the scriptures I would never be able to find it anywhere, because it directly contradicted what the Savior really taught, which was that He did say it could be easy, and that our burdens could be made light. (Apparently it was Mae West who they were really quoting)? 

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Upon reflection, I found this truth to be much more comforting. It was shortly after that when I was having a personal struggle as a young mother of two children. I asked my husband to give me a priesthood blessing. As he laid his hands on my head and gave me that blessing, I could feel the Savior's profound love and empathy for my situation. I knew he was familiar with my grief and sorrow. I could feel it. It was at that time, and many times since, that I've really felt the words Jesus spoke to take His yoke on me that He would make them light. 

All our beautiful children in front of the Jordan River Temple in Utah

This is the part that isn't always easy to do, but as we work at doing that, He does make those burdens way lighter and easier to bare. What a beautiful blessing! A piece of the atonement that made His suffering so necessary in order to truly empathize with me and my situation, as well as you with yours. A truly heavenly, divine, plan.

Mommy Tip Tuesday

 

  I started driving my kids to and from school a couple years ago after a pretty big incident involving Justin that the driver handled quite terribly. He had been suffering some pretty bad bullying for several months without my knowing, by some older girl, and finally retaliated. If you know Justin, he's pretty easy going and very kind, but being the 5th boy in a large family, he tends to handle things himself once he's had enough. The driver is a former jail guard, so she can be pretty intimidating. She punished him with an incident report, which if you get three of, you lose bus riding privileges for. Then she told me about the situation from her perspective in front of him when I went to meet him off the bus. When we got inside, the 3 children all broke down crying and things that had been going on for quite some time started spilling out. Immediately I tried to get a hold of the head of the bus system, but he was out. I called Justin's teacher and notified the school councilor (who apparently had a lot of experience with the bully) and they both said they would watch the situation.

This incident is what made me realized that the bus driver was putting a lot of stress on my kids daily. If they were running a minute late, or if they had a limb in the isle, a pencil out to do their homework, turned around to talk to the person behind them...she was on them constantly. Occasionally stopping the bus to yell at all of the kids for their behavior. I tried to get a hold of the bus system head to let him know the issues we were having for a good two weeks. I started realizing that I loved dropping them off and picking them up. I was the last one to see them before they entered the school, and the first one to greet them coming home. It became a time I could really connect with them. I come to  what all their favorite parts of the day were, how the music teacher is obsessed with coffee, whether they were getting along with their friends, who their friends were...the list goes on and on.

It's been two and a half years since this experience now. Other neighbor kid's parents drive their children now too. I suppose I should really resolve things with the bus driver head, but don't plan to stop driving my children anytime soon. There is more history than I was able to describe here, but I'm giving you the shortened version. The moment we reached our breaking point. Suffice it to say that the driver has been driving my children since Michael, who is in 10th grade, was in elementary school. I asked for a different driver when Alyssa, now in 5th grade, was in Kindergarten. It never changed. I'm a problem solver, not a complainer. 😀

My tip is this: 

Connect with your Kids.

Know what's going on in their lives. 
There will never be an age where this isn't important or valuable. 
Their concerns always matter. 
These relationships are precious, and will last beyond this life. I really believe that.
I'm grateful to my own mother who was always there for the six of us. It wasn't easy, it was often very difficult. But she held firm and consistent in her care and nurturing. I still turn to her for wisdom and comfort. What a HUGE blessing!

Fall in Eugene!

This summer was the hottest summer that we've experienced in Eugene since we moved here 14 years ago. We always get a couple weeks of upper 90's and a couple triple digit scorchers, but for the most part we have mid and upper 80 degree weather. Not this summer though. Instead we had week after week of upper 90's...well into September. That hot weather was not going out without a fight, but suddenly our temperatures have dipped and today the rain for the next nine months has come upon us. It's definitely fall in Eugene!

This is my favorite view of our neighborhood in the Spring and Fall. Those trees drop beautiful pink flower blossoms in the spring, and a ton of beautifully colored leaves in the Fall.

Here's Justin helping with the groceries. He grabbed my slippers in his hurry outside. They were the closest to the door. Notice him ducking from the rain?

 These are my transitional season nails. I really loved how Dollie got the shape right. They are more true to my natural nails then ever! 💙💚💛

The Savior's Early Ministry on Earth

             About ten years ago we read the New Testament as a family for the first time. The funny thing is, I tried to read it when I was ten years old, but only made it through the first couple of books...if that far. The important thing is, the desire was there, right? Thinking about it, I suppose it was because of my love for the New Testament that, when I was a child, I really wanted to name my first born son Peter. But fast forward to ten years ago when I truly fell in love with the NewTestament. Since then, we've read it another or maybe even two more times as a family and, as always, I've gained new insights and my testimony of, and relationship with my Savior has increased. This must be why I was so excited to sign up for the New Testament class at BYU-Idaho where I am taking online courses to get my degree. This past week we studied the beginning of the 4 gospels where we learn about the Savior's baptism and the importance for all who desire to enter the kingdom of God to make those saving covenants and receive that sacred ordinance. Through studying this story, I also recognized how important being baptized by one who truly holds the proper priesthood keys is, and how powerful that power is from one who keeps the commandments and honors their covenants. One of my classmates pointed out this powerful insight and helped me to recognize how the strength of that power varies according to how worthy an individual is.

Jesus is Baptized by John the Baptist: Picture Source

           We also studied how Jesus fasted for 40 days and was tempted by Satan when He would have been at His most vulnerable state, but was able to recognize the influence of Satan because of the blessings of the fast, as well as resist that influence. As any story of the scriptures, there are many lessons to be learned and much inspiration to be gained through relating the events that occurred. We are taught how to respond to Satan by the way Jesus responded to him. How to recognize that he does have power and does exist, and that the spiritual veil is not there for him, he remembers us and knows our weaknesses, but that we have the ability to overcome those weaknesses through obedience to the Lord's commandments and our diligence to stay in tune with the Spirit of the Holy Ghost.

Jesus is Tempted By Satan: Picture Source

         It was after this experience of temptation that Jesus began His ministry, an interesting point another one of my classmates pointed out in remarks to a post I submitted about the power of the priesthood and the strength gained through obedience. He said that he found it interesting that it wasn't until after the Savior's fasting and temptation that He began His ministry. A key point was that through overcoming temptation, He was given greater power and ability to exercise His priesthood power. This power was what gave Him the ability to heal and bless so many, casting out devils and healing the lepers, giving sight to the blind, and so forth.

Jesus Heals the Leper: Picture Source

           One of my very favorite stories is that of casting out devils.The greatest reason for this is that those evil spirits who possessed the bodies recognized the Savior, they knew who he was and begged Him to leave them alone. I was struck by the realization that as we learn in the scriptures that one day every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is the Christ, that for those who are close to the spirit and for those whom the veil is not drawn, do know Him, even those that followed Satan and will never have a body. When the presence of the Lord is near, evil cannot stay because they know who He is and cannot stay in His presence. How powerful!

New Testament: Picture Source

         Through my studies and discoveries this past week, my excitement for learning in this class has only grown. I have a great love for the Savior, the scriptures, and the power of the priesthood. How grateful I am for the knowledge of a loving God who gave us such a perfect example of obedience and the protection of keeping His commandments to  lead us back to Him one day. I look forward to sharing more as I learn.

Michael holding the Alder baby, Sunday October 1, 2018

          In the meantime, I thought you might enjoy this picture of Michael with Ramona, a sweet baby who is a triplet. We hold her through our three hour meeting block to help her parents. They have a toddler and the triplets, so it can be helpful to hold one of them and give them an extra hand. She has been a great blessing to our family. The children look forward to holding her each week, and I won't lie, I have found great joy in it myself. Michael is always asking to hold her and she is very content with him. How precious!  

  

Rhino Man

Justin is a joy. There is no other way to describe him. 

From the moment he entered this world (my first and only cesarean) he batted those long curly lashes and my heart strings started twirling around his little finger with so many layers that they will never break free. 

He is the child that doesn't ask for much. He is considerate and kind. Polite and sincere. His prayers are like an angel speaking to the Lord, so thoughtful and genuine.

Yet he is fun and silly too.

With a witty sense of humor that can't be imitated or contrived, it's just real.

So when he put this helicopter seed from our maple tree in the backyard on his nose, I just purely enjoyed it...and had to get some pictures of what became Rhino Man.
Children grow up too fast.
This life is such a blink...
I'm grateful for pictures that capture special moments.