We've been doing a lot of rearranging in our house lately. After finishing the guest room, which is now Bryon's own room (something he has been wanting for a LONG time) we began changing room arrangements and painting like crazy. I have had the reorganization bug since Christmas, so this has been a wonderful answer to satisfying that need to clean, create order, and purge. As I have been painting, which for me is very theraputic, I have been reminiscing the events of the last seven years since we've lived here as they are gradually being erased from our walls. The most difficult rooms to paint were the memories from what was the nursery and is now Tyler's room, and what was Bryon and Tyler's shared room, which is now shared by their three younger brothers. Although it is a happy change, I think about the many memories that took place in that room since our oldest boy was a ten year old. Now that he approaches 18, so many things have changed and evolved. A necessary course in life, yet done with much trepidation as those fragile, innocent years peel away. It has been wonderful to watch as these children have grown. Feeling sorrows, joys and experiencing life all on their own. It's a blessing to be a parent to such wonderful spirits, yet the time slips away, is hard to let go of. I often wonder if I am ready for what the future holds, when one by one, these dependant souls become independant and need us less and less. How grateful I am for the time we've had to share in their learning and growth. I often reflect on the good with fondness yet, like most parents I'm sure, with a yearning to change what I didn't know better at the time. I wonder, would the sweet be as sweet as it is to us now, had we done things differently? I guess we won't know. This I do, however it has been a challenging, yet wonderful, roller coaster ride that at least I am thankful I've spent not alone, but hand in hand with the man I never thought I could love more now than I did 20 years ago, and yet do in a much more intense-profound way, and the guidance of one that knows us better than anyone else: A loving Father in Heaven. How bittersweet life is. I find time is difficult to let go.
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