Gymboree HELL

*Preface disclaimer- The following story does not reflect or suggest that Gymboree is responsible, how I feel about gymboree on a whole, the quality of their clothing, imply they do not posses the impecable service always cheerfully rendered, or change the fact that it always has been and probably always will be, by far, my very favorite store to purchase children's clothing.


Time to redeem your GYM BUCKS the happy voice on the phone relates with enthusiasm via the reminder call so sweetly made to each gymbuck carrier who has so willingly signed up for this wonderful service. After all, you earned every one of those GymBucks and you do NOT want to miss redeeming them and SAVING all that money. So, anytime you get one of these oh so appreciated calls, the planning begins!

 In your head you are deciding how you are going to go about redeeming the, too good to be true, money savers. With 7 children, you don't just run down to the store and shop and run gleefuly on your way. It's just like planning a day trip away from home. And this is how it pans out, regardless of careful planning:

 Mom (that's  you) Gets up at 5:25 a.m. to read scriptures with the older children, sees them off for seminary by 6:00, gets 2 middle children off to school by 8:00, after long list of to-dos and chores, takes a shower, gets dressed and make-up applied. Up to this point, all like clockwork. Everything runs quite smoothly.

By 9:00, it's time to get going on your day. So, you decide, this is your day! You get 3 youngers dressed-Toddler #2-long sleeve onesie and vest are on, but where are her jeans? Thank Toddler 1for finding her boots. Dress toddler 1, complete with boots (brought to you by toddler 2) Run down to laundry room for Toddler 2's jeans, put jeans on her, add socks and boots.

Feed 1st toddler for the first time, 2nd toddler for the second time, baby in the bumbo--gagging on the rice cereal. Kids finally fed-pack bottle/formula for baby...sippy cups and snacks for toddlers...grabs yourself some water. Mentally note protien bar in diaper back from previous adventure (being that of going to church). Comb kids' hair, put on 2 sets of shoes and socks (one of these sets 2x the other 5x) do and re-do toddler 2's hair. Keys in purse (check) cell phone charged (check) coupons in accessible pocket, as to not forget they are for the use (check, check, and double check) all the while running around turning off house lights. Fill diaper bag. Load baby in the car, bribe toddler 2 to get strapped into car seat, run back to lock door. Thank toddler 1 for his help. You're off....

To ALBERTSON'S (mom's thyroid medicine changed yesterday)-load kids in basket after puppy watching at attached pet shop. Go straight to the pharmacy...p/u prescription where nice pharmacist gives children each a sucker after you've asked toddler 2 to sit down 6-7 times (at least) as to not tumble out and invest the remaining time of the day in emergency room. All the while 1st toddler pointing out snack cracker and cookie deals that "can't be surpassed". (Thank you baby for being happy) Unwrap sucker and pick off stuck plastic. Make it to Powder protein aisle and check out additional items...pay and proceed to repeat car loading senario.

Darn!

You forgot to use that coupon!!

Now you take your medication, after all, you haven't eaten today knowing medication needs to be had on  empty stomache. Head to ATM, to deposit checks. Eat breakfast of water and protein bar. Progress to mall and attempt to make hand sanitizing purchase at a store on the way to the final destination, only to realize swiftly you aren't prepared for this drama AT ALL. Try to check out deals at Forever 21 which you immediately make a B-Line to exit when toddler 2 does nothing but scream. Why did you even try? What were you thinking anyway? All this BEFORE reaching Gymboree. Here you are. Final destination reached! You sigh with relief.

 The kids will be happy here. Of course. Catered to the young.  But, no. By this time you are either brain dead, or glutten for punishment...possibly both, definately psycho. SO finally in the store where there is a wonderful section for children to sit and enjoy innumeral shows while mom pleasantly shops and hunts for great deals, the children are settled in...well two of them are, while afore mentioned #2 toddler begins her repeat request in annoyingly audible tones of "Mom me want out" for at least 20 min. until a packed is finally made and consequences are set forth. Agreement to rules are promised and the wild is let out to roam free. Which actually roams fine, for awhile, trying on shoes and sunglasses, watching a little entertainment, and claiming her seat (over and over again) during which baby is not content and cries till elevated from apparently confining contraption.

Selections are made, reduced, and on hold at the counter, progress is made. Things seem to be going well. And then, it happens almost all at once:

Sales clerk informs you of the noticable blow up which obviously took place with baby, before she was lifted and dangling from your forearm, so therefore unnoticable to you...and upon changing her into diaper and brand new selected clothing; toddler #2 is again claiming her seat to some poor girl, while guarding her numerous hoarded sunglasses, resolutely not sharing, thus making poor girl cry. Toddler 2 is finally talked into sharing after expressing your disappointment in her. and there is a moment of peace.

So you think.

And try to think.

What was it you still needed? How could you have not brought an already prepared list?

While still holding baby, you are then informed that your blond, she is yours right? At which time you are too sick to not claim her-although the thought has crossed your mind-has run out of the store as you are being reassured that the other saleswoman is getting her and things are okay. Just keep shopping. YEAH RIGHT! Toddler 2 has broken vows, is again confined, toddler one is feeding baby whith bottle while you pay and get checked out. Happily, you see the end in sight. And, just as the saleswoman is asking if you have taken that servey printed at the bottem of your reciept, Toddler one yells as you hear baby bawling.

Looking over, she has flipped herself out of constrictive contraption that you have forgotten to buckle after wrestling toddler 2 back in, and Toddler 1 is now trying to lift her safely back to zone of safety. The clerk now feels sorry for you, doesn't care if you take the servey and hopes you will come back again some day.

Maybe....

NOT!  

Out to the car, quickly! Repeat car senario. Darn it! One of the pairs of many of the hidden sunglasses you discovered in the stroller pocket and gave back to the sales woman escaped your attention. You know you're going to have to go back. Not right now!

 There's NO WAY! You will return them when you are alone.

After all, you have just been through:




GYMBOREE HELL


It's   NAP TIME.  

*sigh*